Already Been Cultured

(continuation of “Alpha Beta Can’t Don’t Eat Food Gross”)

Now,
old
people!
Quick:
retire!
Sail
to
unending
vacations
where
xenophiles
year-round,
zillions,
all
boisterously
congregate,
dining,
eating
foreign
gourmet,
hand
in
jangles;
Killjoy
locals
mercifully
not
obstructing
perfection.

The Alphabet of Physics

(a terrible alphabet poem for sciency types. GET IT?)

Accelerate I can, but only in a few
Barns– which is area, not length, but I don’t give a darn!
The Speed of Light can always go the
Distance, but I have no more
Energy. It’s all I can do to
Force myself to not fall down, allow my constant
Acceleration Due to Gravity to pull me under.
Henry’s faster, (my imaginary friend), but his speed’s just an
Imaginary Number in my head. And
Joule’s law tells me, the heat from my jealousy, is proportional (in
Kelvins) to the duration of Henry’s resistance.
Avogadro’s Number can kiss my ass, forget about moles, let’s measure in
Mass.
Newton ran hard, beat us all, with less
Oxygen, although he was not under
Pressure. The information he left at large, about
Electric Charge, just wasn’t in a 2-mile
Radius.
SIEMENS, the reciprocal of Ohm-my-god, this is completely out of context this
Time. I laugh, and suddenly,
Potential Energy warms up inside me, and soon my
Velocity increases. Will this really
Work? I wonder, as I dominate the
X-Axis, the
Y, then the
Z.

Face-Off

A gruesome deed,
But necessary, the one I must
Commit.

Dirty jobs
Entail a bit of
Force, a little
Grit.

Here,
I’m faced with a
Juicy problem to
Knock around a bit…

Look, don’t
Mean to burst your bubble, but you’re
Not hard to
Outwit.

Pain contorts my face, my
Quarry
Reddens but doesn’t
Submit…

Tweezing, pinching, squeezing…
Until my
Valiant efforts quit.

Wait, I’ll just use my
X-Acto knife.
Yes! Take that,
Zit.